The Malaysian Insider :: Opinion
The Malaysian Insider :: Opinion |
| Posted: 25 Aug 2012 05:29 PM PDT AUG 26 — Did I mention I hate chick flicks? They're so full of unrealistic relationships and pretty gals and cute men who happen to be rich, romantic and understanding. The other thing I hate about chick flicks is that they create "chick flick syndrome" in women and gullible girls. Chick flick syndrome results in girls being alone and single because they are day-dreaming about a knight in shining armour. How do you know you have chick flick syndrome? Answer these questions:
The problem I have with these syndromes is that it leaves nice girls alone and single, wondering why romance doesn't come their way — then they conveniently blame God and say that God arranges everything. I'm sorry, but God is busy trying to hook you up with your gal pal's friends — if only you would quit expecting some charming guy who fits your idea of the ideal man to come rescue you from a locked tower. Chance encounters The girls with chick flick syndrome hang out with their girl friends, always go to the same places and actually think someone who bumps into them will ask them for their number. I'm sorry, but this is Malaysia, not the US. Men don't ask for a girl's number if they bump into you at the book store. Get real! Ideal man Sure it's good to have a certain degree of expectation. But then you have unrealistic expectations like he has to be cute with boy band looks, earns a decent income with a professional job, be a jock and be intelligent as well. News alert – those guys only exist in the movies. Jocks may not be intellectuals and likewise smarts ones aren't necessarily good looking. Research have proven that good looking people are more confident but average looking people tend to have a more vibrant personality as they have to work harder to get friends through their humour, wit or intelligence while good looking people never have to work hard to attract attention. Be realistic about men and learn to compromise. Real relationships are about two people willing to set aside their differences for the love of each other. No man will be perfect so stop waiting for the perfect hero. Self primping A lot of staunch chick flick syndrome girls do the opposite. They primp themselves and then expect some stranger to walk up to them and declare their interest in them. That's still tolerable. It's the ones that don't primp themselves yet expect some stranger to suddenly fall in love with them and ask for their number that gets to me. Sure you should just be yourself. And if you're a T-shirt and sports shoes kinda gal, don't change your personal style for a man. But your dressing tells people what kind of person you are. And if you don't care about making a good impression, don't be surprised if people aren't impressed. If you are comfortable looking like a tomboy, don't get surprised that people treat you like one. If you dress like a nun, don't be surprised if men think you steer clear of men (and then they stay clear of you) unless they are looking for a very modest kinda girl. More importantly, I don't get the women who choose to dress down (love me for my personality kinda girl) who then ONLY want cute guys. Ladies, reality check — a lot of good looking people have the option of attractive people flocking to them. Also, in relationships — it's very important that personalities and values match. So if the men take good care in personal grooming and bother to look good, then they probably expect their women to care about their appearances too. How can you have double standards with yourself and your men? Don't complain if the good looking ones don't look at you if your personal grooming isn't up to par as it's part of a personality clash. Cute/dashing hero syndrome I understand that physical attraction is important. But hello, how shallow can you get? Obviously been watching too many chick flicks. Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder. Once you know him, you'll be able to see attractive qualities in him. That scar on his face may represent that time in the army when he rescued someone. That balding patch may represent him taking care of his cancer ridden mother. That extra pound around his waist might represent his long hard battle to overcome a genetic predisposition to being obese, which he managed to trim to only a few extra pounds. Stop being shallow and look within. Get to know someone before deciding whether you'll marry the guy. You believe you don't have to lift a finger to get a man Sorry girls. But men have their moods and emotions too. Sometimes, he may get jealous. And you may need to coax him. You need to talk and communicate and set boundaries. It doesn't mean that you dress in short skirts to get his attention, but if you're sloppy and he's not, don't be surprised if he walks out. The key is mutual commitment. He's not gonna chase you unless you are able to meet him halfway. Expecting him to bend to your ideal man/date/relationship is just courting disaster. And that's just some of the issues I have against chick flick syndrome; compressed into a few points. There is hope however. If you have this syndrome — here is the remedy:
Well, I hope you gals with chick flick syndrome quit watching chick flicks. Or at least understand that you're suffering from this syndrome and try to watch the flicks without getting brainwashed by Hollywood. * The views expressed here are the personal opinion of the columnist. |
| Rediscovering children’s books Posted: 25 Aug 2012 05:04 PM PDT  Hours of reading pleasure. Best of all, I get to share these with my son. What was initially relief for my husband has now shifted to new-found horror as he learns, on a weekly basis, that book buying is far more damaging to his bank account. My latest buying streak began with the Hong Kong Book Fair in July. As Typhoon Vicente whipped through the city tearing up trees, I whipped out my credit card, almost tearing with joy. This expedition was followed by weekly trips to the book shop with my children, which has been our routine since the summer holidays began in late July. Then there was Taobao. I may be illiterate but thanks to my brother-in-law and his too-kind colleague, I shopped up a storm on China's answer to Amazon.com and e-Bay. Only I spent a fraction (about a third) of what I do in Hong Kong. I can't be sure how Taobao sellers are able to price children's books (or any item they sell for that matter) at such dirt cheap prices. Some books had minor defects, others may have been cancelled orders or stock over runs. I can only hope there were no copyright infringements. For that one special cake decorating book, I decided to order from The Book Depository (www.bookdepository.com), which is based in England. Although it offers free shipping, it was a painful 24 pounds (RM118). Never mind that I will unlikely create anything from that book; it is purely for my viewing pleasure and I wanted a genuine, defect-free copy. I think this is what economists term snob appeal. I have deviated from my reason for writing this week's column. I want to talk about the appeal of children's books. I have been collecting these on and off for years, picking up a copy that caught my eye here and there. This year, however, perhaps spurred by the book fair, I have been on a rampage. The fair opened my eyes to less-seen books, predominantly older titles that have seen recent printing. These include Madeline (Ludwig Bemelmans, 1939), Inch by Inch (Leo Lionni, 1960) and The Tiger Who Came to Tea (Judith Kerr, 1973).  A die-cut image from Simms Taback's Joseph Had a Little Overcoat With each book I open I rediscover the simple pleasure of reading. I take in the new book smell, the smooth, crease-free pages, the rich colours, the short, simple stories (yet incredibly difficult to create). I pick these books for myself and love sharing them with my four-year-old son whose hour-long pre-bedtime ritual involves us reading two books with him. His favourites are the wordless books. Although he can read, he seems to enjoy creating his own words as he narrates the story based on the pictures. His top "read/ view" as I type this is Zoom by Istvan Banyai. Starting with what looks like a portion of a star-shaped pizza, the next page reveals it is in fact the comb on a cockerel's head. Zooming out with each page, we discover that the cockerel is being watched by children inside a farm house; the farm house is in fact a toy farm a child is playing with; and this in turn is a picture in a toy magazine read by a boy on a ship's deck. Genius. The other wordless wonders (in my opinion) are Chalk by Bill Thomson, The Lion and the Mouse by Jerry Pinkney and Flotsam by David Wiesner. In just over a month I have purchased 37 books. Now they sit in piles on the floor as I scratch my head about where to put them in my shoe-box apartment. My love affair is in full-swing. New kid on the block  A selection of award-winning children's books at Eslite.  A selection of award-winning children's books at Eslite. Eslite is old French for elite and perhaps picking up on that, commentators have observed that the stylish store is for those who want to be seen as educated and well-read. Eslite has been the talk of the town as folks rushed to check out the 41,000 square feet store occupying three floors. It is the first 24-hour bookstore here (although for now it is only opened round the clock from Thursdays to Saturdays) which has seen shoppers head there when the malls shut at 10pm. I found Eslite too crowded for my liking on a Thursday afternoon and saw none of the "comfortable seating" bloggers raved about. The children's section, however, held its own purely for displaying titles different from main players Dymocks, Page One, Bookazine and Commercial Press. I give it a thumbs up for offering up a selection of popular titles in both English and Chinese (traditional) such as Eric Carle's Brown Bear. Bookworms have much to look forward to as thanks to Eslite's entry into the market, local competitors are stepping up their game. The Causeway Bay branch of The Commercial Press, situated across the road from Eslite, is reported to have expanded its English section. * The views expressed here are the personal opinion of the columnist. |
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