The Malaysian Insider :: Opinion
The Malaysian Insider :: Opinion |
| Posted: 07 Oct 2012 05:07 PM PDT OCT 8 — This was the word which came to my mind when I saw the picture of the silent and empty chairs of the government benches in Parliament during the opposition's reply to the presentation of Budget 2013. Save for a few responsible backbenchers braving to answer some of the assertions and contentions raised by the opposition leader, the rest of the YBs of the Barisan Nasional coalition were conspicuous in their absence. Where were they? Were they in the Parliament canteen digging into their nasi lemak and teh tarik kurang manis? Did they consider it a waste of their time to be there in the august chamber to listen to the opposition leader's response to the Budget and participate in a debate or at the least defend the Budget? Apparently, passing the Budget was going to be a done deal anyway and whatever the opposition had to say about it wouldn't matter. No need to defend it, right? One couldn't be blamed for thinking that was the thought behind the no-show of the government's senior ministers and backbenchers. No need to bother. If anyone needed any evidence to answer the question whether the Barisan Nasional government had learnt any lessons from the outcome of the March 8 general election a couple of years ago, here it was in all its technocolour glory. Apparently, either very little was learnt or none at all. Complacency was still in evidence. Just look at the empty seats. Lest the Barisan Nasional government has forgotten, the people on the other side of the aisle were also elected by the people of Malaysia in their respective constituencies. You have a constitutional duty and a parliamentary obligation to listen to what the other side has to say about the issue at hand. Also strangely, rather than stand tough and demonstrate commitment in support of the Budget in the face of the opposition arguments and contentions, the government benches decided to instead cower away in some corner somewhere and not be there. I didn't think the opposition leader's response was altogether breathtaking but what does it say about members of Parliament who just couldn't be bothered to hear the views of other elected representatives on an issue as important as the Budget? Isn't it parliamentary courtesy and good form to listen to the views of others other than your own? This is what being a mature democracy is about. To the Barisan Nasional parties taking part in the upcoming elections: you want our support? Don't use gifts of money. Demonstrate to us how you are willing to change and improve the stewardship entrusted to you by being serious about corruption, improving respect for human rights and increasing the overall quality of life of Malaysians. Shadow Cabinet business Firstly, let's admit to something. Let's admit that the boys and girls of the opposition benches screwed up when they neglected to set up a shadow Cabinet four years ago. Stop spewing out excuses upon excuses as to why, after the euphoria of denying Barisan Nasional a two-thirds majority, Pakatan Rakyat didn't proceed to provide the rakyat with a vision of how an alternative government could look like. Not only would it present itself as an alternative model, it would also provide the opportunity to the shadow ministers involved to build their capacities in their respective portfolios. I am tired of hearing some of the arrogant and defensive replies and excuses which includes how other countries in the region don't have the practice of setting up shadow Cabinets; of how in Australia and the UK, these setups have funding and support. The rakyat isn't interested in whining and excuses. Why should you take the cue from Barisan Nasional whether or not to establish a shadow Cabinet? So, stop it and just do a mea culpa. There has been and continues to be too much politicking among the opposition parties and not enough investment in building the confidence of the ordinary citizen in a future Malaysia not governed by Barisan Nasional. Perhaps there has been too much complacency and taking for granted the support and goodwill from four years ago? To the Pakatan Rakyat parties taking part in the upcoming elections: demonstrate to us how the opposition is more than about one man trying to become prime minister. Prove to us how the quality of Pakatan Rakyat representatives is far higher than that of the Barisan Nasional representatives. Show us why we should consider you to be a credible and trustworthy alternative choice to the current status quo. * The views expressed here are the personal opinion of the columnist. |
| Raising children to know right from wrong Posted: 07 Oct 2012 04:42 PM PDT OCT 8 — It was Saturday night and I was waiting for my turn at an ATM, behind a woman with a small boy, perhaps about two years old. His mother preoccupied with the ATM, the boy was snacking out of a pack of Twisties. Then one small piece fell onto the dirty floor. His mother was still focusing on the ATM. The boy picked it up, put it into his mouth, and then stared briefly at me before hugging his mother's right leg as he continued eating. At that point his mother was done and led him out of the petrol station, none the wiser about what had happened just seconds before. As I withdrew some cash, it struck me how that incident exemplifies the fact that no matter how vigilant parents are, there will always be times when their kids are alone, when those kids will have to make choices on their own. With a baby on the way, that left me with some apprehension. To a large extent, we are the product of our upbringing, and that extends to how we make decisions and choices. We live in a country with an exam-oriented education system — hardly conducive for developing the cognitive abilities to the necessary level for making good decisions. That means a big part of learning how to make good choices come from home, especially from the parenting we receive. And parenting, I imagine, is never easy. Diapers and milk bottles aside, it involves nurturing and shaping a child's mind from birth to adulthood. To me, that sounds like an impossible task to get perfectly right. How do we go about it then? Pondering the question, I brought it up in a conversation with two acquaintances. "You have to let them make some mistakes and learn from it," says Wade, father of two boys aged 11 and 12, explaining that "if you shelter them too much they will not know what is wrong." But what constitutes "sheltering" when it comes to our children? "Making all the choices for them and not allowing situations that present choices to arise, in my opinion," answers Wade. "I'm saying that we need to protect them, but not too much." Wade further explains that children need to learn by making their own choices in a controlled environment, where consequences of the wrong choice are limited. "When the child in a controlled environment makes a bad choice, ask him why he did it and explain what the right decision should have been and why." On the other hand, Bartlomiej, whose son is 3½ years old, believes that children are natural-born pleasers. "I try to comment on both the good and bad behaviour of my boy so he knows when I'm proud or disappointed," says Bartlomiej, adding that sometimes the worst punishment for kids is letting them know that the parents are unhappy because of what they did. "So patiently explaining why you're upset or why you're pleased will help your kid learn what is the right thing to do." "This works in the early years, but I believe it will translate into their later years in life," he states. Agreeing with Bartlomiej's approach, Wade adds that using examples from adults also helps children learn to make good choices. "With me, my ex-wife makes so many bad choices so I simply use some of the things she did wrong as examples to them so they understand better," admits Wade, hesitantly adding that "for example, they saw her shoplift a while ago... when they told me about it, I let them watch a programme on TV where shoplifters get arrested and go to jail." A little harsh, perhaps, and when I commented as much Wade agreed, but at the same time he pointed out that it was necessary. So that's how two of my acquaintances do it. How do you educate your children on what is right and wrong? * The views expressed here are the personal opinion of the columnist. |
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