The Malaysian Insider :: Opinion
The Malaysian Insider :: Opinion |
| Society’s role in teenage pregnancies Posted: 11 Nov 2012 04:26 PM PST Nov 12 — It's tough being a kid and growing up in today's world. It's almost Darwinian in the sense that you are expected to have the necessary life skills to survive despite the fact that your parents, teachers and family may not have taught you any to begin with. But you are expected to have them and survive anyway. The environment you are born into really determines whether you are able to survive the first few decades of your life. Whether it is into the affluent neighbourhood of Damansara Heights, or into the middle class suburbia of Petaling Jaya, or the hard streets and back alleys of Chow Kit, the accident of birth either makes you rich or poor, able to have access to a good education or be married off because you are deemed not interested in studying. All of this was very much on my mind during a recent discussion I attended focusing on teenage pregnancy in Malaysia and its causes. It seemed to me that young people are being thrown under the bus and being blamed them for not having life skills or the ability to make decisions such as preventing pregnancy or not having premarital sex. It is hard enough when you are an adult to make some of these decisions. Imagine if you are a 15-year-old girl being asked by a 24-year-old man to have sex. Out of the 18,652 cases of pregnant children and teenagers between the ages of 10–19 years old who were recorded by the Ministry of Health (MOH) in 2011, 4,222 were unmarried while the rest were married. According to MOH data from January to July 2012, 10 teenage girls also lost their lives due to complications resulting from pregnancy. It is easy for us to be outraged when we read of reports of babies found buried, dumped in garbage bins, abandoned at mosques or temples, and wrapped in plastic bags and left to die. We look for people to blame. We blame parents, teachers, the education system, pornography. We moan about the lack of religious and moral fibre. And ultimately our eyes and fingers fall upon the girls themselves. These girls are victims of an environment created due to our continued neglect of issues relating to sexual health such as ensuring the availability of proper sexual reproductive health education and services. There are too many policies which aim to punish and harm, and few which seek to help and provide necessary support for those in need. We have our priorities on backwards. We allow people who call for hatred, discrimination and abuse on people who are gay or lesbian to give speeches to our students at our schools but refuse entry to educators who talk about sex education and teach things like how to use a condom. The exploding numbers related to teenage pregnancy is a direct result of our society's failure to acknowledge and address our blinkered views of sex. We continue to allow our personal religious convictions to dictate social, public health and education policies over proven, pragmatic approaches which work. Imagine finding yourself to be pregnant at 16. We have created a hostile environment where young women who find themselves pregnant out of wedlock have very few places to turn to for help, support and shelter. No government healthcare facility offers abortion services for unwanted pregnancies or even condoms and sexual health information for singles and unmarried couples. Sex education to our children comes in a confused cornucopia of conflicted and convoluted messages and is knee deep in moral and religious language. We depend on blind luck for our young to know right from wrong in religious, moral and social norms. "When I grew up, I didn't need all of this and I was still able to live, marry and have kids" is a frequently heard comment from detractors of sex education. We tolerate and even encourage or impose underage or child marriages in the misguided and simplistic belief that marriage will solve all problems. The belief being a teenage pregnancy in marriage is a better thing than it being outside marriage. Hiding the problem seems to be a more accurate description. Reality and pragmatism seem to have no place when dealing with issues of sex. Yet, we have so little tolerance for mistakes and are all too ready to judge and punish those who trip and fail. Today, there are more girls and teenagers living in fear as a result of an unwanted pregnancy. Most of them cannot afford the necessary procedure and they will increasingly resort to unsafe abortions and DIY attempts to force a miscarriage. Sometimes this will cost them their lives. Some will carry their pregnancy to term and end up on the statistics of the Ministry of Health. There will be some girls who commit suicide. The men responsible, on the other hand, will often go unpunished, unknown and unaccountable. We need to summon the courage to provide relevant sexual reproductive health services for all and not just those who are married. Let's not sacrifice our young women and girls on the altar of self-righteousness and misguided ideals. * The views expressed here are the personal opinion of the columnist. |
| Menghadapi Kematian – Bahagian 3 Posted: 11 Nov 2012 04:18 PM PST 11 NOV – Apabila sampai semula di bahagian kepala jenazah, satu lagi lubang ditebuk iaitu di atas sedikit daripada lubang pertama tadi. Proses mengelilingi jenazah diteruskan bagi kali kedua. Pada kali ketiga, lubang ketiga ditebuk di bahagian atas lubang kedua tadi. Setelah anak lelaki yang membawa belanga berisi air itu sudah mengelilingi jenazah sebanyak tiga kali, dia akan diarah melepaskan belanga berkenaan supaya ia jatuh di bahagian belakang dari bahunya dan pecah. Perbuatan ini ada makna simbolik berdasarkan kepercayaan dalam budaya India. Salah satu kepercayaan adalah bahawa setelah seseorang meninggal dunia, rohnya akan melalui tiga tempat dalam perjalanan menuju kepada Pencipta. Ketiga-tiga tempat itu digelar Nagaram, Rouravam dan Maharouravam. Ketiga-tiga tempat persinggahan ini tidak mempunyai bekalan air. Maka, apabila belanga berisi air dibawa mengelilingi jenazah dan dipecahkan sebelum jenazah dibakar, dipercayai bahawa roh si mati akan mendapat bekalan air yang secukupnya apabila berada di Nagaram, Rouravam dan Maharouravam. Sementara itu, petugas di krematorium biasanya sudah menyusun dahan dan kayu kering di atas pelantar pembakaran serta memasukkan kapur barus dan bahan bakar lain ke dalam keranda.  Jenazah penganut agama Hindu dibakar sebagai simbol mengembalikan jasad itu kepada lima unsur alam. Petugas di krematorium akan memastikan jenazah dibakar dengan sempurna. Pada masa kini, penggunaan peralatan moden untuk membakar jenazah menjadikan proses menyempurnakan mayat di krematorium lebih mudah. Tidak timbul juga soal jenazah tidak terbakar sepenuhnya apabila keluarga si mati datang untuk mengambil abu mayat pada keesokan hari. Sehari selepas jenazah dibakar, keluarga mendiang akan pergi ke krematorium untuk mengambil abu dan tulang untuk upacara seterusnya. Anak lelaki yang melakukan upacara membakar jenazah pada hari sebelumnya wajib hadir. Istilah yang digunakan bagi individu tersebut ialah karmi. Beberapa individu yang telah turut serta ke krematorium pada hari sebelumnya juga akan pergi sama. Antara barangan yang perlu dibawa adalah dua periuk belanga, beg plastik besar, satu kilogram beras, dua atau tiga daun pisang yang penuh (tidak dikerat-kerat), sirih, pinang, sesikat pisang, bunga rampai, setanggi, kapur barus, mancis, dua botol susu lembu, lampu minyak (berserta sumbu dan minyak kelapa), sehelai kain lebar berwarna merah atau putih, dan daun agathee yang sudah dimasak. Bahan-bahan ini mungkin ada tambahan atau pengurangan mengikut keperluan dan amalan keluarga. Apabila tiba di krematorium, penjaga tempat berkenaan biasanya sudah membersihkan sisa bahan bakar bagi memudahkan abu dan tulang jenazah dikumpul. Semua yang hadir perlu mandi dan berpakaian basah sepanjang proses berikut. Perlu dinyatakan bahawa hanya kaum lelaki akan ke krematorium untuk menyempurnakan upacara ini. Upacara pertama yang perlu dilakukan oleh karmi adalah berdiri di bahagian kepala jenazah (yang kini tinggal tulang dan abu) dan merenjis air ke atas abu jenazah sebanyak tiga kali. Seterusnya, susu direnjis sebanyak tiga kali. Kemudian, barulah tulang boleh diambil dari tempat pembakaran. Mula-mula, tulang bahagian kepala (tengkorak), leher, dada (rusuk), pinggul dan kaki perlu diambil secara teliti dan dimasukkan ke dalam salah sebuah periuk belanga yang dibawa. Selepas itu, abu jenazah dikumpul dan dimasukkan ke dalam periuk yang sebuah lagi. Karmi dan para pengiring akan beredar ke tepi pantai atau ke tebing sungai untuk upacara seterusnya. Tempat yang rata dan kering perlu dicari. Aspek keselamatan dan kebersihan perlu sentiasa diberi perhatian. Segala upacara ini juga perlu dilaksanakan dengan tenang tanpa sebarang perselisihan. Daun pisang perlu diletak di atas tanah dengan kedudukan bahagian hujung daun menghala ke arah selatan. Beras ditabur di atas daun pisang; biasanya dalam bentuk bujur mengikut bentuk daun pisang. Tulang-tulang yang disimpan di dalam periuk belanga akan dikeluarkan dengan teliti dan disusun semula di atas beras yang ditabur tadi. Tengkorak diletak dulu, diikuti bahagian-bahagian lain sehinggalah ke bahagian kaki. Kepala (tengkorak) harus menghala ke selatan. Periuk belanga berisi abu jenazah pula diletakkan di sisi tulang tetapi masih di atas daun pisang yang ditabur beras tadi. Lampu minyak, setanggi dan kapur barus dipasang. Sirih, pinang dan bunga rampai diletakkan berhampiran tengkorak. Kain merah atau putih piasanya dililit pada leher periuk belanga berisi abu. Kain putih bagi balu dan lelaki; manakala kain merah bagi wanita yang masih bersuami atau wanita yang belum berkahwin. Bagi upacara seterusnya, kaum India beraga Hindu akan cuba mendapatkan sedikit air dari Sungai Ganges dan dicampur dengan air biasa. Sekiranya air Sungai Ganges tidak diperoleh, air biasa sudah memadai. Air berkenaan direnjis ke atas tulang dan abu yang diletak di atas daun pisang. Kemudian direnjis pula dengan susu. Semua ini dilakukan oleh karmi dengan tunjuk ajar daripada warga emas yang berpengalaman. Sambil merenjis air dan susu, karmi akan mengulang nama Dewa Shiva, Narayana, Govinda atau mana-mana dewa yang biasa disebut oleh mendiang semasa hayat. Semua tulang perlu dipastikan basah terkena air dan susu yang direnjis. Karmi juga akan merenjis air pada bunga rampai, sirih, pinang serta nasi yang diletak sebagai simbol "mempersembahkan" barangan itu kepada roh mendiang sebelum roh pergi meninggalkan dunia ini. Arathi iaitu upacara membakar kapur barus dilakukan di mana talam berisi kapur barus yang menyala perlu dipusing melawan arah pusingan jam. Dalam budaya dan kepercayaan masyarakat India-Hindu, pusingan arathi mengikut arah pusingan jam adalah bagi perkara-perkara baik manakala pusingan melawan arah jam adalah bagi perkara-perkara tidak baik dan menyedihkan. Tulang dan abu jenazah dimasukkan ke dalam sebuah periuk belanga. Susu dan air dituang ke dalam periuk belanga supaya keseluruhan tulang dan abu ditenggelami sepenuhnya. – Bersambung * Uthaya Sankar SB adalah penerima Anugerah Duta Keamanan 2008 ** The views expressed here are the personal opinion of the columnist. |
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