The Malaysian Insider :: Books
The Malaysian Insider :: Books |
| Posted: 24 Dec 2012 04:21 PM PST
I am sitting at a café, sipping my coffee slowly while reading the paperback I've brought with me. There are only magazines here in the café but no one reads them. Everyone else is tweeting or checking the latest Facebook newsfeeds on their iPads and Galaxy Tabs. The Christmas decorations are out in full force, of course. Plenty of bright, shiny baubles: everywhere, just about. There are giant plastic trees in the shopping malls (take your pick: green, gold or silver). Screaming advertisements remind you it's that time of the year again and there are bargains to be found. Rock bottom prices, so how could you not buy, buy, buy? Grab these offers while you still can! It's utterly horrible.
Resolutions: List-making for the next 12 months, more hopes and promises. This year, we'll make it happen, really. I wonder if we even mean half the things we tell ourselves? Do we really believe that this will be more than just another list, forgotten by the second week of the coming year? Why should one year be any different from another? Why should one day, for that matter? "I have no mission. No one has."? Milan Kundera, The Unbearable Lightness of Being When I was five and attending kindergarten, I would try and get as many gold stars as I could — for writing, for drawing, for listening or even simply paying attention. Was it talent they were seeking to uncover, or simply the capacity to please, to achieve as much as we could? I don't have any of those gold stars with me now. I wonder though, what good would they have done me? How much recognition do we need before we can rest on that final pedestal, that impossible podium of I Have Done It All (And in Record Time, Too)? No one tells you when you can stop. The answer always seems to be Tomorrow. Easy enough until we realise that tomorrow is always another day that never comes. I guess I am as guilty of allowing tomorrow remain simply that — yet another tomorrow. But tomorrows, they run out soon enough, if one isn't careful. Have I done less than I should? What have I achieved this year? It seems easier to list down the things I haven't achieved: I have not started writing a book, much less finishing one. I have not returned to exercising regularly but managed to pile on pounds instead. I have not embarked on healthier eating habits; I have eaten out more this year than ever before. I am not making truckloads more money than before. At this rate, I might as well include on this ever-expanding list the fact I have also failed to grow any taller. See, at some point we do have to stop or risk it all becoming nonsense. Perhaps achieving more things isn't the solution or the end-goal even. What is, then? "The brain appears to possess a special area which we might call poetic memory and which records everything that charms or touches us, that makes our lives beautiful." ? Milan Kundera, The Unbearable Lightness of Being So yes, I am not growing any taller. That's alright. This way I don't have to buy a new pair of pants with the extra money I am not making. I do make enough to feed myself and put a roof over my not-particularly-brainy-or-ambitious head, so that's quite fine. Perhaps I eat out too much. I can control what I order and still choose healthier options; I can also try cooking at home during the weekend even if weeknights seem impossible. So I never make an appearance at the gym; my absence also means I'm not being surrounded by hulking specimens of my sex. This, not surprisingly, does wonders for my self-esteem. It feels like I'm floating, sort of. (There, I'm taller already.) And my unwritten book? I won't worry too much about it: I am writing and I am learning to write better. This is a blessing already. In fact, I am also learning to read better too – you can't work at writing and not end up reading with greater purpose and enjoyment apparently. This may be what allows me to sit here reading in the café, content without constantly checking my Facebook friends' latest status updates. (Double the blessing, this.) I am not going to wait for tomorrow or the next year to start on a list of resolutions. I don't need a mission or a 10-step plan. I can be and am grateful now, for what I have and what I am doing. Forget about trying to achieve a perfect tomorrow; here is a messy, wonderful, delightful today. What am I waiting for? The answer, with a blissful smile: Nothing, nothing at all. "There is no perfection, only life." ? Milan Kundera, The Unbearable Lightness of Being The Unbearable Lightness of Being, by Milan Kundera (Harper & Row, 1985) * Kenny is no longer waiting. Read more of his stories at http://lifeforbeginners.com. |
KUALA LUMPUR, Dec 25 — "She loved to walk down the street with a book under her arm. It differentiated her from the others." ? Milan Kundera, The Unbearable Lightness of Being
Soon we will celebrate and go on our long awaited holidays. After Christmas, it will be the New Year and time for another round. Some of us will start on diets again, to fit into that new dress for the office party, or to try once more to lose that paunch, a souvenir from a year of good beer. (I mean, good cheer, surely?) | You are subscribed to email updates from The Malaysian Insider :: Books To stop receiving these emails, you may unsubscribe now. | Email delivery powered by Google |
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