The Malaysian Insider :: Books
The Malaysian Insider :: Books |
| Posted: 12 Jan 2013 03:44 PM PST
You are Venus and I am Mars. Is it true, then, those who love must be at war? These aren't tantrums, this isn't combat; indeed, we have no battle wounds but I fear this all scars us just the same. We're only human, after all. Some joke delivered poorly, some shift in the wind, and it blows us the wrong way. We are thrown back in the fray, into the ring. The silence is like a dull knife, deafening in its steady slice. Why do we always hurt the ones we love? I have had some practice; I have learned my lessons, except the most important one, the simplest wisdom: We can't avoid this. We will always hurt the ones we love. We will always hurt. These things we say, they are only words and words are meaningless. They are nothing. These things we say, they are all words and words have meaning. They are everything. These rare incidents of minor disagreements and misunderstood disappointments creep up on us like thieves in the night; we are always taken unawares. My fear is that one day it will be too much for one of us or both, and all this magic will end. We will cease and separate and return to dust. We don't want to be alone again, not after having been together, not after having being One, but can we help this? We will always hurt the ones we love. These things we say, they are everything. How do you banish heartache from your heart? (The same way, one would assume, one hopes to forgo breathing from one's life.) "Is it not love that know how to make smooth things rough and rough things smooth?" — Vikram Seth, An Equal Music
We would be fools to not see what we have: a pretty near-perfect thing going here. Let us be grateful for what we have: good fortune to wake up each morning in each other's arms, to wash and break our fast together, to come home and make dinner together, to watch good films and read good stories (your Chinese fantasy novels and my violent American comics), to wash again and close the day, slipping under the covers, sealing the night with a tender kiss, ready to dream of the morning when we will do this all over again. We cannot avoid unhappiness. We will always hurt the ones we love. We will always hurt. That is okay. What matters is that we love each other; that we continue to do so; that we show it in every moment, from us performing quiet tasks like me cooking for you when you come home late or your surprising me by making the bed when I'm not looking. We never forget to be kind to each other. Love is a verb, they say, not just a feeling. Feelings come and feelings go. If we love each other, that goes on forever. These things we say, they are nothing. Even when we are mad at each other for the smallest stupid, stupid thing, we love in the silences. Let these little spats be our love in the form of a fiery Fury; may our arguments never be cold silences nor harsh in words. We shan't be afraid, or be afraid but have this fear be a healthy sort of fear, for we want what we are together enough not to take it for granted. We shall cease and return to dust (one day), but we won't separate, not us. It's a decision we make together. We cannot banish heartache from our hearts; instead we will bear it not as a burden but as proof that we are alive still and always, always in love. So: Let us fight. Let us be childish and not talk to each other. Let us take turns at crumbling first and then succumbing to a smirk, then a giggle, tickling the other in a silly concession of defeat, let us kiss and make up! Let us make love. Let us remind ourselves we are alive and in love and what a blessed thing this is. Let us shine like the brightest stars until even the heavens may burst! "Why ask for happiness; why hope not to grieve? It is enough... to live from day to day and to hear such music... from time to time." — Vikram Seth, An Equal Music An Equal Music, by Vikram Seth (Phoenix House, 1999) * Kenny can't sing to save his life but still treats every day like a brand new song. Read more of his stories at http://lifeforbeginners.com |
KUALA LUMPUR, Jan 13 — "Perhaps this could have stayed unstated./Had our words turned to other things/In the grey park, the rain abated,/Life would have quickened other strings." — Vikram Seth, An Equal Music
I am Venus and you are Mars. We can choose to see our mistakes and our missteps. We both have scars enough; it's time to let go and heal. We are human, after all, and we can learn.| You are subscribed to email updates from The Malaysian Insider :: Books To stop receiving these emails, you may unsubscribe now. | Email delivery powered by Google |
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