The sexy Volvo S60 T5 — Picture by Lionel Yew
KUALA LUMPUR, AUG 17 — Mention the brand Volvo and what comes to mind? For me, three things: Lat comic strips, a bath towel and finally, an injured finger!
Remember how Lat always had a Volvo 122 in his comic strips? Since then, the 122 is the Lat Volvo to me. Fast forward 20 years and I myself own a Volvo 240SE. A 28-year old fella driving around in something that only doctors or government officials own? Didn't quite make any sense to my friends.
But then again, none of them had kids yet at the time. My first child had already come along and the only reason why I bought the 240SE was because apart from putting her into a cocoon (or a tank), there was nothing safer.
Being a Continental car, the Volvo didn't have the efficient air-conds that some other cars did back then. Occasionally, my wife would drive the car and complain that it was so "hot and heavy."
She suggested that instead of having a box of tissues in the car, we should have bath towels instead to mop up the sweat.
And then finally, there was the time I got my pinkie caught between the door and the frame of my 240SE... all eight inches of metal, lined with more metal, crushing down on calcium (and fat tissues) lined with a thin layer of calcium. OH. GOOD GOD! My neighbours heard a combination of swear words they never imagined could be put together.
So, now that I've painted a mental image of what the Volvo means to me, let's see what emotions the current generation of Volvos stir up.
From the time they introduced the 3-point safety belt in 1959 till the "Collision Warning", Volvo has always been about safety. I mean, that's the only reason why people buy Volvos right? Not because it looks cool, not because it's a performance vehicle and sure as hell not because it's Swedish.
From time immemorial, people bought Volvos because they knew they were going to get to their destination safe and in one piece. It was only later that Volvo themselves realised that something was missing from their cars… the sexiness. Come on man, the Germans had sexy written all over their cars. The Japanese artificially inseminated sexy into their cars.
The British eventually caught on to the idea by which time they were bought over. Even the Koreans knew that. If they could, they would throw in a band member from Girls Generation into every car they export! So why has it taken Volvo so long to realise this?
OK, the why I don't know. But the when, that I can tell you… it's NOW! The S60 is sexy. All the muscles and brains in the right places and still not forgetting that safety is still the priority.
You could say that getting into one and driving it is like… how shall I put it... SAFE SEX! All the pleasures you can think of but nothing to worry about. What more can you ask for?
When I say all the pleasures, leave it to these Nordic folks. Ever walk into Ikea, look at their stuff and think to yourself, "Wah… these people are so clever one ah? They tink of everytink." Yup folks, from the driver, to the passenger and to the guys sitting at the back, these people have thought of EVERYTHING!
Everything revolves around safety; the safety of the driver, the passenger and also all around the car. I mean, the list of safety features goes on and on and on. Just to give you an idea, the safety briefing took an hour. But it would be unfair if I didn't highlight my favourite… this feature called "Adaptive Cruise Control."
I know, I know, some of you are already sniggering… "My car also got what? So what so special about this feature?" My question to you is why are you reading this then? Feeling that the grass might be greener on the other side, eh? I'm not preaching to the converted.
Then again... hang on, what's new anymore right? Eh, don't distract me! This system allows you to set the speed limit (of course when you're on the highway) and if you approach a vehicle that's slower than you, the car will automatically keep a safe distance between you and the car in front. Automatically!
The brakes apply on their own, the accelerator goes on its own if the car either moves away or speeds up. All the way from KL to Seremban, I only pressed on the brakes twice. Once because I panicked thinking that this ACC was too good to be true. The other time, a typical Malaysian driver cut into my lane. That's another story for another day. I also tried it out in the KL jam… also works! Set the limit, activate the cruise control and let the car do the job for you. So cool right? "Like auto-pilot, huh, Daddy?" exclaimed my son.
The Front Blind View Camera is also something worth mentioning. You know how our city planners love to plant trees right at the corner of the junction? Or even how some drivers just park their cars at corners and you can't see what's around the car? Well, this camera allows you to see exactly where you can't see.
Another thing that I was quite impressed with was the fuel consumption. I can't say that I was feathering the throttle most of the time. In fact, it was quite the opposite. The engine was just raring to go and I couldn't bear to tell it no. I won't tell you how fast I was going but I'll give you a hint later. So, even after all that "feathering", I was getting decent mileage of 550km to the tank. I was expecting much, much worse from a small-ish 67-litre tank.
For those who drive a lot, I know you'll love the heated seats function. OK, don't let the name fool you. The heat doesn't come from the seats but goes to the lumbar area. What good will that do? Ever gone for a massage because your back is totally "sngui" (Hokkien for sore muscles). The heat therapy and the massage eventually puts your back muscles at ease. Have they thought of everything or what man!
My kids had a different tale to tell, just as good, but just from a different view. The back-of-my-head view. While my kids may not be looking at it from the overall safety features of the car, Volvo can take pride in the fact in all the years of having these monkeys in the back seat, I have never had it this easy.
Not a single squeak from them. Not a single, "Are we there yet?" The entertainment system had them over the moon. Each of them had their own screen. Short of having a cabin crew serve them drinks, they thought they were on a plane.
Apart from that , of course the car also has a long list of other features that are also similar to other cars in this category, but to me they don't resonate safety as well as these folks in Volvo have done. However, to the doubting Thomas if Volvo can price their car better and still have all these features, then you'd be in a dilemma because the grass IS greener on the other side.
With the new CKD version, apparently the prices are more palatable. The T5 is targeted at RM255,000 and the T4, at RM220,000. Plus, everything that you find in the CBU model will be made available in the CKD version. Hahaha… is your name still Thomas?
So, okay you now have to ask yourself the ultimate question, why am I even considering this car? It's your needs, your family's needs. With this car, everyone's needs are taken care of. Volvo may have come into the game late but I think they've done well this time in marrying chunky metal with sexy curves and a monstrous engine. And now, I understand why they call this car "naughty" *nudge nudge wink wink*.
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