SEPT 1 — Let us ignore the muted Merdeka celebrations this year and build some cheer of our own here.
This is not going to be a diatribe about anything. This is a tribute to those things that make Malaysia tick.
A nation is a concept which is in perpetual motion, made horrendously difficult by personal interests. The smart know that in Malaysia, wealth is aplenty if long term is not a concern. So it is difficult keeping a union going, our union going, and for that I will have to cross the aisle and say that all you, committed to Malaysia irrespective of partisanship, deserve credit.
Millions of Malaysians, grudgingly or not, keep the faith. And in that spirit of not going after anyone, let's talk a bit about some of these things.
Again, not things that most Malaysians like, but rather things which transcend the institutional race, religion, regional and gender divide. The things which we live for, or have disdain for in equal measure.
Badminton
Football has more fans than badminton in the country, however the fan base is divided across teams — mostly abroad. And the relatively poor turnouts at our national league matches in contrast to our national football viewing base shows not all is in sync. The euphoria over the national team's limited success regionally is on the wane as home truths cripple the sport.
Badminton, well badminton is different. Most people don't follow the national badminton scene, but when it comes to the tournaments then the nation is transfixed on the national badminton team.
It might be the history of being a major global player in this sport with a realistic chance of winning world titles, perhaps.
People like badminton so much, for years they put up with the repetitive and ignorant commentating by Datuk Hasbullah Awang on TV.
Though the national team, back-up players and the coaching scene are crowded with ethnic Chinese, Malaysians have uncharacteristically refrained from downplaying badminton's success.
A couple of weeks ago, in an almost empty bar in an awkward corner of Bukit Jalil near the national sports complex, strangers were screaming, gasping, cursing and punching the air as Lee Chong Wei almost upended China's Lin Dan.
It was not to be, but the blood pressure reading for the patrons and the waiters would not have been pretty reading.
We all wanted Lee Chong Wei to win, as we will the next time he walks into a major final. We were there when Cheah Soon Kit-Yap Kim Hock almost won an Olympic gold in 1996. We cried when Razif-Jalani nailed the Thomas Cup in 1992.
And we will all be there for the next triumph or defeat. Thank you badminton.
Singaporeans: We love you man (or, The humourless Singaporean: An oxymoron)
Asean ties be damned, everything might work better in Singapore, or as a friend said perhaps a little too well. Too well it starts to annoy.
Disclaimer: We love Singaporeans, and please bear with our customs and enjoy your trip here. We deplore any type of physical or psychological harm on Singaporeans. And Malaysians do look up to the Singaporean work culture in some instances. But when see the Singaporean walk past, we just break out in laughter. The Singaporean is so bland it is unreal.
And to be fair, the Singaporean knows it. So he does try to joke at times, which obviously leads to us laughing hard at them as much as with the joke.
The scorn we have for our cousins down there is almost like the "break in case of emergency" glass. When things go really bad, we do go down on our knees and thank all kinds of gods that we did not have to be them.
Bad road directions
Irrespective of the language used, Malaysians generally give horrible road directions.
I think this might be down to our polite culture of not telling too much. If we tell the asking guy in a way no deciphering is necessary, it might seem a little too condescending I suppose.
I learnt a hard lesson as a teenager with friends trying to get around Ipoh city once by enquiring from a guy, who now seems on hindsight a vicious vitriolic man. Remember when a guy asks you to make four right turns in succession you end up in the same place. Youth, tragic youth.
But there are these wonderful terms: Gostan; straight, straight, straight; up and down two times, etc.
Here's a toast to all the people who lose hours and hours to the typical Malaysian.
Tabloid news
True, everywhere in the world people are enamoured by the bizarre, but Malaysians come frighteningly close to actually believing in the tabloid news as life lessons.
Perhaps more so with the suppression of mainstream news when it comes to actual news, and the negating of alternative news sources, it becomes too challenging for the common man to always read between the lines.
One side seems to be saying selectively, and the other seems too urgent. Tabloids seem happy enough to let the crazy come out easy with popcorn morality summaries.
Headline: No wife in violent spousal dispute!
Man beats wife, only to realise his wife was once a man, therefore the marriage is annulled and the two broken bones during the violent beating are seen as collateral to a regrettable marriage but necessary since it let to the doubts which undid the sex-change cover. Moral summary then follows, it is important not to be tricked by unscrupulous men trying to fight nature with science.
The shame, guilt and condemnation cycle of our local tabloids is so engrossing for all Malaysians.
Not sure what is the redeemable quality here, except maybe more of us than not are found to read them. At least it gets us to read.
Durians: The king lives well...
Nothing divides global taste and smell buds as much as the king of fruits, the mighty durian. I tell friends that all I ever expect of my unborn children is for them to play football and chess, and eat durians. I understand that the third may test the best of filial piety, but it is one which I will risk for the king deserves better.
Most of the world finds the durian a challenge, so much so eating it became a serious challenge in an American survival reality show.
But in Malaysia, only a minority detests it and in those cases I put it down to poor training and constitution.
Malaysians cannot be defined by who eats and sells durians.
Music: Alleycats and that Man Bai song
The multi-language and four-type public schools system has also retained the wall of separation in cultural development in the country. Malay, Mandarin, Tamil and nasyid music scenes on their own go on. The karaokes in Sarawak will carry their Iban tunes.
Diversity is great actually, it even explains the success local acts have in the Chinese music scene, Cantonese and Mandarin (which is huge on its own), and the Tamil music scene with the presence of people like Yogi B in major soundtracks.
Which is why those Alleycats have been Malaysia's biggest non-Malay band in the Malay music scene. Generations of Malaysians raised to read and write in Malay most, and only a handful of non-Malays make it through the Malay music scene. I don't offer answers here but I think the prime minister might want to produce more Malay albums by non-Malays as part of his 1 Malaysia vision. Sounds like a vote getter.
But while we wait for a more multicultural Malay music scene, there is this one song which seems to have infected the Malaysian psyche, Man Bai's "Kau Ilham Ku" (You're my inspiration). An advert to support the Malaysian hockey team to the 2000 Olympics used it, but the song has been lingering about before and after.
A friend sent a YouTube link of his son and another singing a version, which prompted me to do a short search of other uploads of the song. It is interesting to catch, including this one by someone who is not even Malaysian.
Something about longing, waiting and hoping seems to hit a chord with many Malaysians, so that makes the list.
And we go on, together
Every day most of us are told why this whole country is disparate. Firstly countries are collections of autonomous individuals, who then shape themselves through their families and then interact in their communities.
There will be so many examples of how so different, in this instance, Malaysians are from each other. That just means we are individuals. What we have to see is if those differences fundamentally separate us and hold them up side by side with the thing we so readily agree with.
Today in Malaysia, it just seems race and religion get more mention, therefore more space in our conversations. The argument is skewed.
But having lived with each other for so long we have adjusted to each other more than we all like to admit. And preferences have melded, just that the language to express that commonality is missing from the main stage.
So the thing is we are more alike than we are allowed to admit. "Kita serupa" (We are alike, an old Headwind song).
* The views expressed here are the personal opinion of the columnist.