Rabu, 21 November 2012

The Malaysian Insider :: Food

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The Malaysian Insider :: Food


Mamma mia! Europeans prefer Italian cuisine

Posted: 21 Nov 2012 04:57 PM PST

A new TripAdvisor poll found that Europeans prefer Italian cuisine over everything else. — AFP-Relaxnews pic

PARIS, Nov 22 — The familiar, comfort foods of Italia – pasta, pizza and dolce desserts – have emerged as the preferred cuisine among Europeans, topping the list for everyone from Germans, Brits, Spanish, Italians and the French.

In a new TripAdvisor survey that polled 7,665 Europeans, Italian food was ranked the overall favourite, with 62 per cent of Spaniards particularly enamoured by the country's cuisine.

The same was true for 55 per cent of German respondents, 52 per cent of Brits, and 48 per cent of Italians.

Perhaps most striking, the French – for whom good food and gastronomy is a birthright – likewise rated Italian fare better than their own, with 40 per cent of respondents saying they preferred the Mediterranean cuisine, followed by 38 per cent identifying their own cuisine.

Thai food was the third favourite for 27 per cent of French respondents.

Meanwhile, French cuisine is sliding in popularity among Europeans, most significantly among Italians, with only 16 per cent naming French cuisine as their favourite. In rankings, that put French gastronomy in eighth place among Italians.

Countries polled included the UK, Germany, Italy, Spain and France.

The latest survey confirms the findings of another worldwide poll conducted earlier this year by accommodation site Hotels.com, which also found that of the 27,000 people polled, Italian fare emerged the favorite, at 32 per cent.

That was followed by French and Japanese cuisine. — AFP-Relaxnews


Good NOSH, by gosh!

Posted: 21 Nov 2012 03:51 PM PST

The NOSH philosophy, by way of Virginia Woolf. – Pictures by CK Lim

KUALA LUMPUR, Nov 22 — The KL foodie is a terrifying creature.

We are all amateur food critics at heart, offering our opinions about how pasta at the latest trattoria in town isn't quite al dente or how the fries at another Elvis-style diner is tastier because it's deep-fried in beef tallow. And so on.

New restaurants have been opening all over town since Ramadan but most have been lacklustre at best and dismal at worst. One friend complained about the broken eggshell she found in the banana bread she had at a new café. Another was astonished when he asked for more cream and jam for his scones (as what was given barely covered a single scone) and was charged extra for his trouble.

We are always on the lookout for something new or better. It can be quite exhausting and I've all but given up on this search. I simply want to eat decent, good food.

Mains: Spaghetti aglio olio with smoked duck & gorgonzola (left) & slow cooked beef cheeks braised in a coffee infused sauce (right).

Last week a friend had lunch at a new bistro in Bangsar and recommended it.  These days we are leery of visiting restaurants when they first open. The first few weeks are usually challenging – from a kitchen crew adjusting to an unfamiliar environment to freshly-trained service staff figuring out the floor – which means diners enter at their own risk.

Honestly there is no excuse for food and service at an F&B outlet to be below par, even for a new kid on the block, but we bow to Reality here. Forewarned is forearmed.

So it's a pleasant surprise when we drop by NOSH with no further expectations than "Well, we've run out of things to try …" and are welcomed not only by its cheerful white-and-orange palette but also its attentive, warm and very polite wait staff.

When someone greets you with a "Welcome to …" and the smile on their face reaches their eyes, why, you can't help but smile back too.

Desserts: Rich chocolate sundae (left) & vanilla bean panna cotta with cherry jubilee and warm Valrhona chocolate sauce (right).

We are seated promptly and offered water (replenished constantly throughout our meal, which a heavy H2O guzzler like me appreciates) while we peruse the menus.

Our shared starter of Salmon Mango Rhapsody soon arrives after we place our orders. A simple salad of salmon and mango tossed in mixed leaves dressed in a citrus sauce, light and appetite-whetting.

My partner's Spaghetti Aglio Olio with Smoked Duck & Gorgonzola is a success with the nuttiness of pan-fried garlic slices dancing nicely against the sharp cheese and flavourful duck. He whispers to me, "Guess what? The pasta's al dente!"

Similarly, I've little to complain about my Braised Beef Cheeks which is melt-in-the-mouth tender and given a bit of a kick from its coffee-infused sauce. The sides of creamy mash and vegetables mean I won't be hankering for a Ramlee Burger afterwards, the way we sometimes get after too dainty a portion at other dining establishments.

Brunch: Peanut butter French toast served with banana (left) & The Noshling (right).

When it's time for the dessert, I beg off my share of it having had a heavy lunch earlier. A real pity since the minds behind NOSH – Ann Lee, formerly of designer cake house Just Heavenly, and Judith Sakata, an executive pastry chef who has worked in Tokyo as well as recently revamping AirAsia's menus – are very serious about their sweets.

My partner rescues me from this conundrum by ordering the Rich Chocolate Sundae and promises he'll finish it on his own; I am free to have a couple of guilt-free nibbles. When the sundae arrives though, filled to the brim with nuggets of Valrhona chocolate brownie, chocolate crumble & house-made chocolate ice cream topped with berries and, you guessed it, more chocolate sauce, it's hard to resist only having just a spoonful.

Definitely not for the faint of heart; chocolate lovers, however, rejoice.

Our subsequent visits reveal more delights. Fish is certainly a favourite of the chef here, with perfectly grilled salmon accompanied by a zesty lemon caper sauce to generous slices of seared ahi tuna encrusted with black sesame seeds, given a nice bite with a wasabi lime sauce.

Those who are faithful followers of brunch joints may want to drop by during the weekends. All manner of egg-and-bread concoctions are served, including their signature brunch dish, The Noshling, featuring toasted multigrain bread topped with smoked salmon and poached eggs in hollandaise sauce.

Good advice: NOSH it down!

The French toast at NOSH comes with chunks of caramelised banana and plenty of peanut butter to please the fans of this ubiquitous breakfast spread. When the waitress announces my plate of pancakes with berry compote & mascarpone, mischievously named "Will You Berry Me?", I get into the spirit of the dish and say "Yes!"

To her credit, instead of slapping me, she gives me a most beatific smile instead.

Dining in KL can be a bit of a hit and miss, but those with patience and an unrelenting and adventurous palate will be rewarded. Last month, a magazine editor asked me for my favourite new places and food finds of 2012. Was it a bit too early for "best of" lists? We certainly didn't think so. Guess we were both wrong and I for one could not be gladder.

Playful but serious about food, NOSH is a good reminder for foodies never to lose hope and give up the search for decent, fuss-free grub.

NOSH

7, Jalan Telawi 3, Bangsar Baru, 59100 Kuala Lumpur. Tel: 03 2201 3548. Open Tue-Fri 11:30am to 11:00pm; Sat & Sun 9:30am to 11:00pm; closed Mondays. Website: http://www.nosh.my

* Kenny is mesmerised by thousands of tiny orange tiles. More edible adventures at http://lifeforbeginners.com


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The Malaysian Insider :: Sports

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The Malaysian Insider :: Sports


GFH Capital sign Leeds United takeover deal

Posted: 21 Nov 2012 07:30 AM PST

LONDON, Nov 21 – Dubai-based GFH Capital has signed a deal to buy former English soccer champions Leeds United, the latest foreign group to invest in one of the clubs with hopes of promotion to the lucrative Premier League.

Leeds were one of the top names in English soccer in the 1970s and won the Premier League in 1992 but are now struggling in the second-tier Championship.

"The signing of this deal marks the start of a one-month transitional period in terms of full change in ownership and control of the club," the Yorkshire club said in a statement on its website (http://www.leedsunited.com).

"Following Football League approval, GFH Capital Limited will be 100 per cent shareholders," it added.

Leeds majority shareholder Ken Bates, the former Chelsea owner, will remain as chairman until the end of the season and will then become club president.

"Neil Warnock will continue as manager with more support than the present owners have been able to give and we look forward to a smooth transition," said Bates.

Leeds have not won in their last seven league games, sliding down the table and putting pressure on Warnock.

GFH Capital Deputy CEO David Haigh, a Leeds fan, said the company had injected further funds into the club.

Questions have been raised about the financial firepower of GFH Capital and its Bahrain parent firm Gulf Finance House.

A group of Kuwaiti investors took over former European champions Nottingham Forest earlier this year, another club now playing in the Championship. – Reuters

Villa manager Lambert given one-match touchline ban

Posted: 21 Nov 2012 06:50 AM PST

Manchester City's David Silva (3rd R) shoots past Aston Villa's Brad Guzan (2nd L) to score during their English Premier League soccer match at The Etihad Stadium in Manchester, northern England November 17, 2012. Aston Villa manager Paul Lambert has been given a one-match touchline ban and fined US$12,700 after a breach of FA rules. – Reuters pic

LONDON, Nov 21 – Aston Villa manager Paul Lambert has been given a one-match touchline ban and fined US$12,700 (RM38,881) after a breach of FA rules following his team's 5-0 defeat by Manchester City last weekend.

"It relates to language and/or behaviour amounting to improper conduct following his side's game at Manchester City on 17 November 2012," the FA said on its website (http://www.thefa.com) today.

"Lambert accepted the standard penalty for the charge and will now serve a one-match touchline ban to commence with immediate effect."

Aston Villa, who are 18th in the Premier League with nine points from 12 games, host Arsenal on Saturday. – Reuters

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The Malaysian Insider :: Breaking Views

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The Malaysian Insider :: Breaking Views


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The Malaysian Insider :: Showbiz

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The Malaysian Insider :: Showbiz


Nicki Minaj launches Pink Friday fragrance in New York City

Posted: 21 Nov 2012 07:53 AM PST

NEW YORK, Nov 21 — Rapper, singer, songwriter and American Idol judge Nicki Minaj launched her fragrance Pink Friday at an event at Macy's in Queens, New York City.

Nicki Minaj Pink Friday fragrance bottle. — Pic courtesy of Elizabeth Arden

Back in Nicki Minaj's hometown, the megastar launched her new fragrance, Pink Friday at a glitzy and certainly very pink event in Queens on November 20th.

"Pink Friday is a celebration of my life at this moment; it is a reflection of me as a creator, and an expression of me as a woman" says Nicki. 

Available at Macy's in the US, the fragrance is distributed by Elizabeth Arden, and will appear in stores in Europe in March 2013. The fruity concoction also features florals, warm vanilla, musks and woods. The 3.4 oz bottle, forming a golden and pink bust of the star retails at US$59 (RM180).

The official video for the scent begins with Minaj lying on a bed of black roses. She pricks her finger on a thorn, releasing rose-colored blood, which fills the shot with magical color as Nicki's skin turns golden, and her eyes glow pink.   

The star has also announced she will be launching her own record label. Her first artist is London-based singer-songwriter Parker Ighile who also features on Minaj's latest album "The Re-Up" released on November 19.

This Friday, singer Rihanna is also set to lauch a new fragrance, with the upcoming 'Nude' following her Reb'l Fleur (launched in 2011) and Rebelle scents. — AFP/Relaxnews

Lenny Kravitz to portray Marvin Gaye on the big screen

Posted: 21 Nov 2012 07:51 AM PST

LOS ANGELES, Nov 21 — American singer-songwriter Lenny Kravitz is about to take on the role of Marvin Gaye, in a filmed biography helmed by Julien Temple, known for directing the musical Absolute Beginners and films about the Sex Pistols.

American singer-songwriter Lenny Kravitz. — AFP pic

After his noteworthy appearance in the on-screen adaptation of The Hunger Games, Lenny Kravitz is set to portray Marvin Gaye, according to The Evening Standard. It would be his first lead role in a film.

This biopic has been in talks since the beginning of 2011. It will tackle the last years of the soul legend, focusing on his European period, when he lived in London and Ostend, Belgium, in the beginning of the 1980s.

While he suffered from depression and alcohol addiction, the singer managed to return to the spotlight with the album Midnight Love (1982), the last work released while he was still alive. Working with Belgian producer Freddy Cousaert, the Motown star recorded the biggest hit of his career: "Sexual Healing."

Marvin Gaye continued to suffer from depression and on his return to Los Angeles, had a dispute with his father, that culminated in his father shooting him dead on March 31, 1984, the day before his 45th birthday. — AFP/Relaxnews

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The Malaysian Insider :: Features

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The Malaysian Insider :: Features


Shiny, happy young people more likely to grow into wealthy adults

Posted: 21 Nov 2012 05:24 AM PST

Happy and positive young adults tend to make more money and grow into wealthy adults, according to a study. — Reuters pic

LONDON, Nov 21 — Happy, positive, extroverted teens are more likely than their gloomier, moodier peers to make more money and grow into wealthy adults, according to new research out of the UK.

One of the main reasons? Happy and positive young adults tend to envision brighter futures and are more likely to work towards a degree, find work, and get promoted quicker compared to their moodier counterparts, say researchers from the University of Warwick and University College London.

After analyzing data from 15,000 adolescents in the US, scientists found that those who reported higher life satisfaction went on to make earn "significantly" higher levels of income later in life.

For example, a one-point increase in life satisfaction on a five-point scale at the age of 22 translated to a US$2,000 (RM6,122) increase in higher earnings per annum at the age of 29, the study found.

The results of the findings, published November 19 in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, could have important implication for academics, policy makers and the general public, researchers said.

"[F]or the general public — and parents in particular — these findings show that the emotional well-being of children and adolescents is key to their future success, yet another reason to ensure we create emotionally healthy home environments," said study lead author Jan-Emmanuel De Neve.

For their study, researchers made comparative notes with siblings, showing that even within the same family, happier, more optimistic, extroverted and less neurotic teens tend to go on to earn higher incomes. — AFP/Relaxnews

Japan’s new nuclear-proof robot gets stage fright

Posted: 21 Nov 2012 05:04 AM PST

Toshiba Corp's new four-legged robot is demonstrated in front of reporters wearing helmets at Toshiba's Yokohama complex, south of Tokyo November 21, 2012. — Reuters pic

YOKOHAMA, Nov 21 — A Japanese robot designed to withstand high levels of radiation and extreme heat at damaged nuclear plants such as Fukushima froze today on its first public demonstration.

Despite being home to the largest number of industrial robots in the world, Japan did not have a device capable of entering the damaged Fukushima nuclear facility after last year's devastating earthquake and tsunami.

Instead, Japan brought in US robots to survey the extent of the damage inside the reactor buildings.

Toshiba Corp unveiled Japan's own nuclear-proof robot yester, a four-legged device able to carry up to 20kg of equipment and capable of lifting itself up if it falls over on uneven surfaces and amid debris.

During the demonstration, the robot experienced a case of stage fright. The shuffling Tetrapod locked up and suddenly froze after it tried to balance itself, forcing technicians to carry it away.

It is the second time such Japanese robotic technology has experienced problems. Last October, a crawling robot developed by the Chiba Institute of Technology lost connection with operators and was abandoned inside Fukushima's No. 2 reactor building. — Reuters

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The Malaysian Insider :: Books

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The Malaysian Insider :: Books


‘Bluster’ is Dictionary.com’s 2012 Word of the Year

Posted: 21 Nov 2012 05:19 AM PST

NEW YORK, Nov 21 — Online reference tool Dictionary.com has picked "bluster" as 2012 Word of the Year for its applicability to events in the political, economic and meteorological spheres.

"In Old English 'bluster' meant 'to wander or stray,' and today it has a few, closely related meanings. It means both 'to roar and be tumultuous, as wind' and 'noisy, empty threats or protests; inflated talk,'" explained the site, pointing to Australian floods, Chinese cyclones, and Hurricane Sandy on the one hand, and European austerity measures, Greek elections, and the US's financial condition on the other.

Oxford English Dictionary picked "omnishambles" as its word of the year, a term that originated in UK political YV satire The Thick of It, while the OED's America partner plumped for "GIF."

By mid-2012, the Global Language Monitor already had "derecho," a land hurricane, as a candidate for word of the year, while more recently the Chair of the New Words Committee at the American Dialect Society suggested that "fiscal cliff," "Gangnam Style," and "Frankenstorm" were all in the running for the traditional January award.

More on why "bluster" is Dictionary.com's 2012 Word of the Year: hotword.dictionary.com/bluster/ — AFP/Relaxnews


New ‘My Little Pony’ book teases Seapony reveal

Posted: 20 Nov 2012 07:56 PM PST

Meet the gang in 'My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic'. ― Picture courtesy of © Hasbro

LOS ANGELES, Nov 21 ― Six new My Little Pony books have been confirmed for Spring next year, with one title implying that the underwater Seaponies could be welcomed back into the Pony community.

The Seaponies were introduced back in 1983 and made few appearances in the years following, but have never been written out of current series "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic".

However, a new illustrated hardback called "Under the Sparkling Sea" is due in April next year and will "introduce fans to a brand new land and an underwater city of Aquastria."

Could it be that "Friendship is Magic" will lead viewers on a visit to Aquastria before the end of season three?

Three other books have been dated for April as well, according to the website for publisher Hachette: "Meet the Ponies of Ponyville", "Welcome to Equestria", and "Twilight Sparkle and the Crystal Heart Spell" will be available in paperback and as e-books.

Also in the works are an asyet untitled book due in July, thought to be a "Twilight Sparkle" sequel, and a My Little Pony handbook called "Elements of Harmony", which was first unearthed in September via retailer listings. ― Reuters


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The Malaysian Insider :: Bahasa

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The Malaysian Insider :: Bahasa


Umno juga ‘rakyat’, tak salah untuk memiliki tanah awam, kata ADUN Kuang

Posted: 21 Nov 2012 02:44 AM PST

SHAH ALAM, 21 Nov — Ahli dewan undangan negeri (ADUN) Selangor dari Kuang hari ini menafikan bahawa Umno menyalahgunakan kuasa mendapatkan tanah kerajaan negeri untuk orang awam, sebagai parti yang mewakili rakyat.

Kesemua 24 plot tanah di Selangor — yang dikatakan milik parti komponen Barisan Nasional (BN) dan bekas presiden MIC Datuk Seri S Samy Vellu semasa mereka memerintah — adalah untuk kegunaan awam seperti dewan serbaguna dan tadika, kata ADUN Kuang, Abdul Shukur Idrus.

"Umno juga adalah rakyat, Umno mewakili 400,000 rakyat di Selangor. (Plot tanah) ini bukan untuk individu, ini untuk satu pertubuhan yang ramai.

"Tak boleh Umno gunakan tanah terbabit untuk kepentingan rakyat?" katanya, sebagai membalas kenyataan penyokong Pakatan Rakyat (PR) dalam sidang dewan undangan negeri Selangor semalam yang menuduh BN terlibat dalam menyeleweng plot tanah ketika berkuasa.

Tuduhan itu melibatkan 24 plot tanah awam di tujuh dari sembilan daerah negeri terkaya itu, dimana dimiliki oleh cawangan dan bahagian Umno, MCA, MIC dan Gerakan sekitar tahun 2000 hingga 2008.

Plot tanah berkeluasan sehingga tujuh ekar setiap satu dan jumlah keseluruhan adalah 33.5 ekar, kebanyakannya di kawasan komersil.

Daripada 24 plot, 15 dimiliki bahagian atau cawangan Umno, dengan enam dimiliki oleh Umno bahagian Sungai Besar, yang diketuai oleh bekas menteri besar Datuk Seri Khir Toyo.

MCA mempunyai lima plot, MIC tiga dan Gerakan satu.

Datuk Seri Samy Velly, bersama dengan S Subramaniam dan Allahyarham Tan Sri SOK Ubaidullah, salah seorang pengasas MIC, dinamakan sebagai pemegang amanah bagi tanah berkeluasan 2,832 meter persegi di Kuala Selangor.

Plot tanah terbesar ialah tanah berkeluasan tujuh ekar di Klang, yang dimiliki oleh Umno bahagian Kota Raja, dan 6.5 ekar tanah di Batu 14, Puchong, yang dimiliki Umno bahagian Puchong.

Adun Sekinchan Ng Suee Lim mencabar parti komponen BN untuk memulangkan kembali tanah tersebut kepada rakyat jika mereka benar-benar mahu menjaga kebajikan rakyat.

"Mereka perlu buktikan bahawa mereka benar-benar ikhlas berjuang untuk rakyat, bukan kata-kata kosong, kata berjuang untuk rakyat, tapi merampas tanah mereka," katanya lagi semalam.

Peguam tidak perlu hadir ke Pulapol, kata polis kepada inkuiri Bersih

Posted: 21 Nov 2012 02:26 AM PST

KUALA LUMPUR, 21 Nov — Peguam tidak perlu hadir ke Pusat Latihan Polis (Pulapol) di Jalan Semarak, tempat di mana peserta perhimpunan Gabungan Pilihan Raya Bersih dan Adil (Bersih) ditahan kerana tidak ada dakwaan yang dilakukan, kata saksi inkuiri Suruhanjaya Hak Asasi Manusia (Suhakam) mengenai keganasan yang berlaku pada perhimpunan 28 April lalu.

DSP Rajakopal Arumugam memberitahu inkuiri, polis membawa mereka yang ditahan dalam perhimpunan tersebut kerana tujuan dokumentasi.

"Mereka semua dibawa ke Dewan Pengaman dalam Pulapol, di mana dewan tersebut dapat menampung sehingga 1,000 orang pada satu-satu masa.

"Semasa mereka ditahan, mereka dibenarkan untuk bergerak di sekitar Dewan Pengaman, serta makanan dan minuman disediakan oleh polis," kata Rajakopal ketika memberi keterangan.

Rajakopal berkata, peguam tidak dibenarkan masuk ke dalam Pulapol supaya tidak mengganggu proses dokumentasi serta kehadiran mereka tidak diperlukan kerana tiada dakwaan dibuat.

"Saya rasa tak perlu benarkan peguam untuk masuk (dalam Pulapol) kerana saya belum dakwa apa-apa lagi, jadi buat apa saya nak benarkan peguam untuk masuk?" kata Rajakopal.

Rajakopal memberitahu inkuiri kesemua 512 orang yang ditahan dibebaskan pada jam lima pagi selepas proses dokumentasi selesai.

"Saya bebaskan semua wanita dan kanak-kanak dahulu, pada 12:30 tengah malam.

"Dan pada jam lima pagi, kesemua tahanan selesai dibebaskan," kata Rajakopal lagi.

Sebelum itu, inkuiri juga bertanya kepada Rajakopal kenapa tahanan perlu dibawa ke Pulapol.

"Ini adalah prosedur, dan selepas selesai, kita bebaskan mereka," kata Rajakopal.

Panel inkuiri diketuai Naib Pengerusi Suhakam Datuk Dr Khaw Lake Tee dan dibantu dengan ahli suruhanjaya Prof Datuk Dr Mahmood Zuhdi Abdul Majid and Detta Same, untuk menyiasat punca keganasan yang berlaku pada 28 April lalu.

Inkuiri seterusnya akan bersambung pada 5 Disember ini.

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The Malaysian Insider :: Opinion

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The Malaysian Insider :: Opinion


The spoon-fed generation

Posted: 20 Nov 2012 03:55 PM PST

NOV 21 ― Dear parents: Please stop making it easier for your kids.

I mean it. Not that I'm advocating spanking and depriving them of dinner, but your spoiled children are aggravating.

Ask any local university lecturer about the "pampered generation" and expect a lot of sighs and eye-rolling.

It is common for students now to ask their lecturers for the following on the first day of class:

1. Notes. (Why take notes when you can make your lecturers prepare them for you in advance?)

2. Copies of presentation slides. (You can now ignore your lecturers in class and look at the slides in your hand instead.)

3. Mock exam questions or help with "spotting" questions that will come out.

Ideally, students should come prepared to lectures. Read the assigned material and have questions ready to ask the lecturer either during or after class.

Instead, most of them come to class expecting lectures to be like secondary school all over again.

One of my favourite lecturers translated the course textbook into Bahasa Malaysia and passed off his translation as "notes." He knew too well that most of his charges could not read English well enough and most did not even bother reading the textbook. I'd actually read the book and, so, laughed when I saw the so-called "notes" being passed around. Clever, but unfortunately necessary.

My own experience teaching tertiary level students was depressing. Not only did they not read the assigned module, they could not even answer the questions without handholding.

Why are our kids so crippled when they enter university? Part of it is because of the 12 years of swallowing and regurgitating facts in school. Part of it is coddling by parents who go out of their way to lavish praise and gifts on their children.

From what I hear, there are local Malaysian parents who buy luxury cars for their children as graduation gifts. Son or daughter returns from studying overseas and waiting for them at the airport is a six-figure-retailing Volvo or the like.

Basically, we're raising kids to believe they "deserve" good things and don't need to work for them. I think that's called entitlement?

In a way, we're living in an entitlement culture. We've grown up to believe we deserve certain "rights" for being a certain race. That we deserve to be proud of things that we did not work hard to achieve. You didn't "achieve" your race or religion or birthplace so the misplaced pride is, to me, a little amusing. It's like being proud of a dice roll, a card draw, or a lottery win.

And when your spoiled, entitled children abandon you in your old age, do you have anyone else to blame? When in their two-storey, six-bedroom house they have no space for you, it is really because they don't see that they owe you anything. Whatever they got in life was because they "deserved it." You taught them self-worth and pride, and yet you "forgot" things like gratitude and humility. 

Ask yourself now: Why are you still feeding your children when it is high time they learn to feed themselves?

* The views expressed here are the personal opinion of the columnist.

We regret to inform you…

Posted: 20 Nov 2012 03:51 PM PST

NOV 21 ― Months of out-of-court settlement negotiations had fallen through. The offer that came from the other party just wasn't sweet enough and my clients knew they stood a better chance having the matter resolved through litigation.

After so many false starts punctuated with almost two years' worth of interlocutory application after interlocutory application, there was nothing much left to be salvaged on amicable terms. They just wanted their day in court.

And so the instruction finally arrived on my desk ― issue a letter to the other side; let them know that their client's offer is rejected. Get the court to fix dates for the trial. The gloves are coming off.

That evening after work, I sat through a screening of Skyfall, half watching the movie and half drafting that letter in my head. Two hours later, I walked out into a heavy downpour and ran across the dark parking lot, jumping over water puddles to my car while trying to recall the points I wanted included in the letter.

As I drove out of the mall, my thoughts moved from the substance of the letter to more trivial things like clichéd expressions I wanted to avoid using.

Naturally, I drifted first to the opening line:

"We regret to inform you..."

I stopped there, mid-sentence, and thought to myself just how insincere and utterly dishonest the whole phrase was.

My clients were not the least regretful of their decision to reject the offer. They saw through their opponent's strategy and did themselves a favour by rejecting it. If anything, I sensed only glee and relish in their letter.

Between lawyers, letter writing is a form of sport. Words form friendships and alliances. They also identify enemies. The words we choose ― sensitive and diplomatic ― allow for warring parties to display their fearlessness and ferocity; forcing the capitulation of the other or even facilitate forgiveness and reconciliation.

But these rules pertaining to nuance and subtlety don't apply to the business of informing; not when the message is simply for example, that road conditions are bad due to incompetent planning and co-ordination.

There's no need to massage in any fake regret because everyone sees it for what it is. Because if there truly was genuine regret for informing us of the inconvenience caused, the Public Works Department would have learned by now (after so many decades in the business of digging) to co-ordinate better with Telekom, Indah Water and Syabas so that each didn't take turns to dig up the same spot the other just repaved a week ago.

Restaurateurs seldom ever mean it when they tell you they regret they're too packed to accommodate you. They'd love to be turning customers away at the door every single day for that reason. You'll never see Chatime put up a sign regretting its long queues. It's good business.

The customer service operator for TNB surely doesn't really mean it either when he apologises to you for not knowing when the power disruption will end. Once you hang up, he'll be clock-watching waiting for his shift to end while you're the one fumbling in the darkness trying to get outside to congregate with your neighbours.

Truth is none of them regrets informing you of the bad news.

"I think neither", I once answered an architect friend of mine when asked if I thought the Board of Architects meant it when his professional examination results were preceded by the words "Dukacitanya tuan/puan dimaklumkan…"

"You think they mean they're sorry about my results, or they regret the act of informing me?"

 "It's a computer-generated letter," I pointed out. "Get over it."

So, back to my case. If anyone was feeling a tinge of regret, it'd be the lawyers involved, hidden behind our desks by piles of files and books, silently howling and dreading the many hours of trial preparations that lay ahead, and the changes to our year-end holiday plans!

Hedging and indirectness in language make for good manners. It's polite and diplomatic. It's how we appear more regretful and sympathetic when we're actually not.

Because stripped of diplomacy, what you have is the Chinese waitress who rudely snaps "Don't have!", "No more!", "Finished already!", "You still cannot decide now? I come back later!" at you during your Sunday yumcha outing that's just turned disastrous.

Blatant honesty, I'm sure you'll agree, is not necessarily the next worst thing to blatant dishonesty. Sometimes it's exactly what you'd appreciate. It looks you in the face and tells you like it is without the prose narrative; without your wasting time reading the condescending feigned regret.

Example: "Services currently not available".

And it leaves you there, alone, on your couch with a useless remote control and a blank television screen in the middle of a thunderstorm. No apology is given by the pay-TV company; it feels no regret and doesn't make any promises to avoid future disruptions. No one is lied to and no one gets any false expectations about better future performances. There is in this communication at least, some kind of mutual respect.

The rain continued to wash against my windscreen, making everything outside a blurry vision of moving red and white lights and the occasional white divider lines on the road. The small wiper blades of my Land Rover Defender pivoted at a quick pace, like the short arms of a midget orchestra conductor madly trying to catch up with a runaway symphony.

I'd been told there were road works ahead but only remembered when it was too late to turn around. I switched the radio off and listened to the sounds of the rattling engine, almost harmonious with the pitter-patter of the heavy fat droplets falling on my thin roof. I looked down amusingly at my left hand gripping the gear shift, vibrating along with the rest of the car.

Then I looked up and saw the outlines of orange traffic cones suddenly coming into view in front of me, abruptly inducing traffic to merge into my lane. On my right, a lorry came hurtling down towards me.

Remembering the stunts MI6 Field Agent Eve Moneypenny managed to accomplish using her silver Defender, I applied some quick thinking and resolved that it was too late to brake. It was time instead to crash, hopefully in style ― though without the flying fruit stall.

I bent the Defender's direction toward the other side with my left tyres smashing first into the curb, then up onto the pavement before the sound of a metallic crack clanged out from under my truck. From that point on, I'd lost my steering control rod and, ipso facto, control of my truck.

As I continued rolling on the pavement towards the fence of a house nearby, I resolved in my mind that if I were to survive this ordeal, then I'd write a letter to Land Rover to ask about the discrepancies in performance of my vehicle and that of Moneypenny's.

Survive I did. An expensive repair bill; a written enquiry to Land Rover; a finished letter to the other solicitors in which I wrote honestly and succinctly: "Your client's offer is rejected", and three weeks later, a white envelope arrived on my office desk.

I unfolded the letter. It was a reply from Land Rover, finally.

They addressed me politely as "Sir", and followed by these five words:

"We regret to inform you …"

* The views expressed here are the personal opinion of the columnist.

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