July 05, 2013
| Zan Azlee is a documentary filmmaker, journalist, writer, New Media practitioner and lecturer. He runs Fat Bidin Media www.fatbidin.com |
As a parent, you start to lose control of your children as they start to grow up, get older, mature and become less needy.
And as s a parent, you have to learn to let go. It's the natural way. I just didn't think it would happen as soon as Athena turned two!
Athena is quite an active child. It's like she has a solar panel on her head that constantly charges her batteries and allows her to have limitless energy.
And leaving her cooped up at home everyday when her mother and I are out at work seemed to be boring her out.
So we decided to send her off to school. After a bit of hunting around, we found a nice little kindergarten that accepted kids from the age of two. Perfect!
The first few days (weeks actually!), she went through the separation anxiety phase where she would cry when we drop her off but be fine 2 minutes after we leave.
It's been a couple of months of her attending school now and we've noticed certain things about her that we had never seen before.
Relax! Her hair isn't getting all fuzzy at night, and she is not spinning her head around 360 degrees or climbing up walls and cursing Jesus.
One day she came back and grabbed her bath towel, put it around her neck and ran around screaming 'Superman!'. She even made the flying 'swish' sound!
As far I know, my wife and I have never watched any Superman cartoons or movies ourselves, much less with Athena.
So I'm assuming that she picked it up in school, a place where I have no control over anything she is exposed to whatsoever.
Another time, she came back with a small party pack (one of her classmates celebrated her birthday in school) which contained all kinds of princess paraphernalia!
And if anyone knows me, they would know that I hate anything princess-ish because it is irresponsible for adults to infect their daughters with the princess syndrome virus.
When we first visited Athena's kindergarten, I had specifically asked the principal on their stand on the princess syndrome.
She assured me they were against it, as they believe that girls needed to be raised with self-esteem and grounded in reality. And that sold it for me!
But I guess they can't do much when excited parents (albeit not very smart ones!) come with a cake and party packs to be shared with the other kids on their child's birthday.
So that brings me back again to the fact that Athena is now in the big wide world where I can't be there all the time to protect her from things that aren't good for her.
It's a tough realisation for a parent like me to learn, especially when most parents learn when their child turns into a teenager, while I am experiencing it within just two years of becoming a parent.
But it's a beautiful thing to see your child developing before your eyes. It's an incredible feeling when Athena learns something new and excitedly wants to share it with me at the end of the day.
It could be something as complicated as learning a new song complete with lyrics, or as simple as a new dance twirl her friend taught her.
She has her whole life ahead of her of learning and experiencing new things as she makes her way through the world. A big world where I can't and won't be with her everywhere.
So I guess this begs the clichéd question that parents have to ask themselves:
How do you let go of your children and trust they will choose the right party when they become eligible to vote in a general election? - July 5, 2013.
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